Long before solo vacations were cool, I found myself lost in the woods alone. Usually in fall. It became somewhat of an annual tradition – hiking to new places to photograph fall colors and waterfalls, shop, and visit roadside attractions. This annual habit evolved into a ritual that now provides an opportunity for an annual reset. An opportunity to question the choices I’m making, the life I’m building, and what comes next.
I hike among a canopy of majestic trees shedding colorful leaves and burned sienna needles. A gentle reminder of letting go of what no longer serves them. An opportunity to preserve themselves for hard seasons ahead and make room for new growth. My heart races as I climb my way upon a bed of rock that’s millions of years in the making to end with an expansive view of the greatest of the great lakes. Lake Superior.
My relationship with faith is complex to say the least. In this moment, I feel small yet invincible. Blessed to have this moment of solitude and see the beauty that is all around me, should I choose to see it. Blessed to have a body strong enough to make these annual hikes and a brain sharp enough to navigate these trails. Blessed for a family that supports this trip and the resources to make it happen.
Finitude is on my mind. I’ve been asked to write a message about grief for the day of the dead. To share my story in hopes of helping others navigate what we all must face – loss. I think back to my solo trip 4-years ago. Facebook reminded me it was cut short because dad had an unannounced surgery pop-up, cutting my trip to a mere 12-hours of open highway and a few shots of rain-soaked leaves. I remember being frustrated but knowing the importance of showing up for him in that moment. What I’d give for that phone call today. Funny how time changes things.
Sitting on this ridge, I can feel a greater power. Perhaps, it is my oxygen depleted brain from the strain of being out of shape or the other hikers who have opted to smoke large volumes of pot on this trail. That explanation would be simpler for me to process. Easier to understand. Or, the Universe knocking at my door once again saying let me in. Reminding me that it is ok to believe in something I cannot see or understand. That there is an explanation beyond atoms for the energy that surrounds me.
This idea… this possibility… is a lot more exciting. It opens up the world to a lot more potential. It opens up my life to a lot more potential. The potential to change. To continue evolving. After all, that’s ultimately what this trip is all about.
I head back to reality today. Laundry, motherhood, chores, and a pile of work. Deadlines. And a 10k in 10-days that I am beyond unprepared for – in a way that reminds me I’m closer to 50 than 40. My joints are unhappy and my plantar fasciitis is downright angry. I’m also returning with a sense of clarity. A reminder of what’s important and some things that need to change. A road map that I’m sure will include plenty of detours, delays, and the occasional accident, but a road map just the same.
I’m leaving today with a plan to finish 2023 strong and some exciting plans for 2024 that I’ll be sharing in the coming months. All part of my on-going commitment to living a life in alignment. There is serious power in taking a time-out to dream big and reflect on your mess with no distractions. I encourage you to do the same. As for how, someone once asked me how I can afford to make this trip every year. How I get buy-in from my family and why I even do it. For me, it is easy. I simply cannot afford not to do it.
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