Finitude: The state of having a limit or end.

That word has been weighing heavily on me the past few weeks. The Universe not so kindly reminded me that our time here on Earth is finite when she took a coworker much too young from my world.

Today we said goodbye to her with a celebration of life. I couldn’t help but think Fuck Cancer and the Universe at-large. I’m still in that anger stage of why her and why now?

I won’t pretend we were super close. But we were kindred spirits. We shared reading lists and podcasts and the occasional writing. We were casual acquaintances with a passion for curiosity and continuous improvement. It was a privilege knowing Leslie.

Last night, I hugged my kid a little tighter before bed. I savored my latte and newly blossomed sunflowers in my garden today. I turned off my music on my morning run and instead listened to the world around me. I giggled when my hens waddled their way towards me at snack time.

When the shit that simply doesn’t matter started to take space in my brain this week, I did my best to dismiss it. To remember how precious our time is – how we simply do not know when our time is up. I wish it didn’t take the loss of an incredible human to remind me of that – but alas, I’m a creature of habit who is quick to get caught up in the muck life sends my way.

Our finitude. A reality we cannot deny despite our best efforts. What we do between now and then is up to us. For now, in this moment, I continue to do my best to make meaningful moments that matter. The small stuff. The things that ultimately make life worth living.  

To Leslie. Peace, love and light. I hope you have found your way home.