“That’s because happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a direction.”
― Arthur C. Brooks
A year ago I devoured from a book co-authored by Oprah Winfrey and Arthur Brooks about How to be Happier. Not happy. But happier. It followed a year of work dedicated to creating more alignment and margin in my life. Here’s what I learned. Great things – aka a happier life – only comes with hard work.
To achieve this current state, Arthur Brooks set me up with a three-prong approach to achieve this mythical place: enjoyment – satisfaction – purpose. I don’t plan to share a play-by-play of my year but I will say after 12-months, I find myself living out a bold, beautiful, and dare I say, happier life.
How’d I do it? To steal the words of some great marketing by PNC bank – by being brilliantly boring. Consistent. Focused. Little things like blocking time on my calendar for things that bring me joy. Trips with friends, morning reading by the fire, long walks in the woods, and meaningful conversations with people that matter. I spoiled my toes and doubled down on saying no. It wasn’t always easy and at times, the scheduling conundrums that come with being a full-time working mom with friends that are equally if not more busy, felt more daunting than getting my MBA. That said, every adventure was worth it. Equally as important, every missed opportunity that a previous me would have had serious FOMO about, resulted in more margin for living a more authentic and well-rested self. (For those who had to accommodate matinee shows and watch me bail by 9 pm, thanks for understanding).
This year was also an opportunity to focus on approaching life’s curveballs from a place of contentment. Hear me out – I’m not over here saying I’m shitting rainbows. But, I have found that if I approach the day-to-day mundaneness that comes with living an extraordinarily ordinary life from a place of abundance, I am more content with the outcome. Sometimes, that means cracking jokes with an office mate about choosing joy (while I openly grumble about some inconsequential first world problem). Or, investing in someone else to do something I disdain, resulting in the best currency of all – downtime. Sometimes, I just sit and stare at a candle. Or, Moon Lake. Or, the woods. I write more – not just as therapy and goal setting – but as a place to ponder gratitude. Turns out there is some truth to you are a reflection of your beliefs.
Which leads me to the final element. As difficult as slowing down and creating space for meaningful moments was, pursuing my purpose was by far the biggest leap for me this year. I’ve always prided myself on career alignment. I do my best to work for causes that matter to me and where I can make meaningful contributions. This year, that meant reevaluating my day-to-day work and the runway I had left before retirement. As much as I loved my job (and the people), it was clear a change needed to happen for me to reach my full potential.
If you had told me a year ago that part of being happier would mean giving up something I love for the unknown, I would have been bewildered. Now, three months into what I anticipate will be a semi-long industry career change, I am discovering a whole new layer of hard (and happier) work. Day-to-day work that reflects the woman I want to become. Is that transition vulnerable and painful at times? Absolutely.
I recently told a co-worker that I thrive in hard. That to me, hard just means I’m evolving and growing. I’ve come to learn it is in fact the element I’m most comfortable in. Not everyone gets that or probably needs that. But for me, it has paved a pathway to a happier life for me.
I’m not sure what 2025 holds for me. My mantra this next year is quite simple – peace. More on that to come. But for now, if you are still reading, I hope the new year brings you happier times. A space to hold both difficult and hard things, while also finding more enjoyment – satisfaction – and purpose in life.